First I am going to say sorry it took so long to write this. It was harder to write that I thought it would be, so there may be awkward choppy sentences.
So I am going to start my story with a spoiler… I am a success. I may not always feel like one, but I am one. Many at this point may point out that I am bragging about myself. I am. I have made it to a point in life that many (many) people said I could never get to, but to get to that point we need to start at the beginning.
What do you need to know about my early life? My name is a good place to start. You can all call me J. It is simply, easy to remember, and what most people call me. Right before I was named I was born. Usually how it works, right? I was a pre-me baby by about six weeks, so I was tiny when I showed up in the world and a bit of a shock since neither of my parents expected me for six more weeks.
I had a lot going for me at a young age (and yes even to this day!). I have two amazing parents in the world, and they both of who have some degree dyslexia. My Mom knows that she has some, and with my Dad we are pretty sure he does too. So from the time I was born until I started to learn to read my mom watching me like a hawk and read to me a lot. I remember my parents reading to me all the time. In fact gowning up we had a rule- if you wanted a video game you had to pay for it yourself, but if you wanted a book (as many as you wanted) then parents were more than happy to pay for them. Which is a great way to get your kids to want to read.
When I started “read” my parents saw some things that worried them. I was not really read. I had memorized my favorite book word for word and could repeat it back to them, but not the words on a page. This was right before first grade. In first grade more and more signs came up. I had a hard time with spelling, word spacing, and overall with reading and understanding. My Mom having noted this and other things at home asked the school to test me for dyslexia. My first grade teacher had also noted some things and thought it would be a good idea. It took a while for the school to agree, but they did.
So I got tested in first grade. I don’t remember a lot of the test. I do have the paperwork from it and apparently I have an IQ in the gifted range, I am great at abstract blocking patterns and visual sequencing, and organization. Things still true to this day. This test also reviled that I did in fact have dyslexia in the severe range. I was placed in a Special Education Program with some amazing teachers and my parents found a special tutor to tutor me, which also helped.
So fast forward to the forth grade- I had glasses and was still in the Special Education Program, not the greatest way to start 4th grade. In forth grade I was blessed with the world best forth grade teacher- Mrs. Pam Markell. She was the one that helped everything click. I really learned to read in her class, and from that point on I have read most anything I can get my hands on. It was like all the understanding and knowledge finally fit together in my brain. At the end of forth grade my parents sat me down and asked me if I wanted to move on to fifth grade or stay back a year in forth grade. I picked to stay back a year in forth grade with Mrs. Markell. One of the best discussions I have ever made.
So forth grade part 2 went by and so did fifth grade. Then came sixth grade. In the summer between 5th and 6th grade we had moved from Northern California to North Texas. As a family we deicide not to file paperwork to have me placed in Special Education. So I entered 6th like a normal new kid. No one knew. I got a great kick out of telling people to see their shocked looks and to hopefully change their view of dyslexic people. It was great. I did have to work a lot, but all my hard work in the past helped me to succeed.
Fast forward to the end of high school- I graduated with honors from my high school. Something that many people told me would never happen, and even more shocking I got into college- my number one college! I went to a small private college, and loved all four years of it. Not to say it was not hard. It was at points. If is college I think it’s expected to be hard.
Of course entering college you have to figure out what to study. I picked something near and dear to my heart- History. So I major in history and I got two minors- Education and Christian Studies. In high school I came to a startling conclusion- I wanted to teach, so I entered that program at my school. So being a history major I read a lot of books and wrote 155 papers ranging from a page to 24 pages. A 155!!! Crazy, huh. Especial for the dyslexic, but I did it. There was one semester where I literally went from writing one paper to the next to get them all done.
To top all that off- I graduated from college with an overall GPA of 3.6!!! Graduation day was an emotional day. I made it to a point where only some people ever told me I could achieve - My parents, Mr. Orr and Mrs. Patterson (my special ed. Teachers), Mrs. Markell (my forth grade teacher), Becky (my tutor), and Jason Kiplinger (my swim coach and teacher in high school). I am sure I have missed some, but to me these are the ones that stand out.
So that is my story… well some of my story. It is still being written to this day.
A quote I found sums it up the best “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”- David Brinkley
Tool #4- Don’t compare people together. You never know what they are going through and you never know all of the things that are going on. Also please do not compare my story to yours or to someone else’s. Every story is different. That is part of the joy of getting to know people. Everyone is different. You are a success. Never ever forget that. And it is ok, in my book anyway, to disregard anyone who is trying to make you into a failure, and you should celebrate even the smallest victor, for they make a big difference.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The Bad Term
I have to start out by telling you that writing this post was hard to write because I had to think deeply about situations that hurt me in my past and the label that I live under.
The Bad term is what I call the stigma and label that comes along with having dyslexia. When people heard that you has dyslexia they seem to start looking at you sideways. With that simple statement you have turned their view of you upside down. Before telling them this you where normal and just like them, and now there is something “wrong” with you, or at least different about you. And to make it worst the thing that is “wrong” is invisible, so it sneaks up on people. Like sharks, spiders, or things in the dark- think about it people hate the unknown. There are many signs of dyslexia, but no one can walk down the street and tell you if you have dyslexia. So it shocks people when they find out about it.
And on top of being invisible, dyslexia is hard to communicate to people in how it affects us. I have a really hard time to find words, or examples to tell to people, and I like words. It is hard to share the daily frustrations and failures that are a part of our lives and expect people to understand. It is not human nature to tell people about what are our failures are in life. Especially when we think that no one will understand.
The hard truth is that some people are going to make decisions about you when they hear you have dyslexia. Here is a personal example from my past. This took place in my third grade classroom during one of the open houses that year. The open house had been going for a while and most of the parents and kids were just visiting with each other. I overheard one of my “friends” telling their parents that I had dyslexia and that I went to special education everyday, which was all true and I was not ashamed of this. To me it was just a part of my life.
The next thing that I know my “friend’s” parents came over to a talk to me. They made small talk for a little bit, and then said, “I am so sorry to hear that you have dyslexia.” To which I think I replied with something like, “Umm, thank you.” I mean what do you say back to that? They went on to say something that forever changed my life- “And that the only job you will every get is as a Wal-mart Greeter.”
I was in the third grade when these people outlined my whole path in life. Their opinions were that having dyslexia was a death sentence for having a real job or being a productive member of society. Since that day I have done everything in my power not to believe that opinion of me because I don’t want those people to define my life. Ever.
I try not to think about what people have said about my life and what I would end up like, since most of them have been really, really off base. And the only way to show what I mean is to tell you about me. So the next post I will be writing will be my story. Be excited!
Also if there is anything you would like me to talk about please feel free to comment and ask me to write a piece about that topic.
Tool #3- I wish that this was a perfect world where labels and stigmas don’t exist, but we don’t live there. My honest opinion about people, who label you, is to not be friends, or hang out with them. Most people are a little scared about a person that have a challenge they don’t understand, and my response to that it talk about dyslexia- the good things about it and the challenging parts of it. Help people to understand what is going on in your brain and that you are just like them. Only your brain is different. I know it is hard, but people need to hear about what it is like to be us. We are a part of society and we have a lot of good to offer to this world. Never forget that.
The Bad term is what I call the stigma and label that comes along with having dyslexia. When people heard that you has dyslexia they seem to start looking at you sideways. With that simple statement you have turned their view of you upside down. Before telling them this you where normal and just like them, and now there is something “wrong” with you, or at least different about you. And to make it worst the thing that is “wrong” is invisible, so it sneaks up on people. Like sharks, spiders, or things in the dark- think about it people hate the unknown. There are many signs of dyslexia, but no one can walk down the street and tell you if you have dyslexia. So it shocks people when they find out about it.
And on top of being invisible, dyslexia is hard to communicate to people in how it affects us. I have a really hard time to find words, or examples to tell to people, and I like words. It is hard to share the daily frustrations and failures that are a part of our lives and expect people to understand. It is not human nature to tell people about what are our failures are in life. Especially when we think that no one will understand.
The hard truth is that some people are going to make decisions about you when they hear you have dyslexia. Here is a personal example from my past. This took place in my third grade classroom during one of the open houses that year. The open house had been going for a while and most of the parents and kids were just visiting with each other. I overheard one of my “friends” telling their parents that I had dyslexia and that I went to special education everyday, which was all true and I was not ashamed of this. To me it was just a part of my life.
The next thing that I know my “friend’s” parents came over to a talk to me. They made small talk for a little bit, and then said, “I am so sorry to hear that you have dyslexia.” To which I think I replied with something like, “Umm, thank you.” I mean what do you say back to that? They went on to say something that forever changed my life- “And that the only job you will every get is as a Wal-mart Greeter.”
I was in the third grade when these people outlined my whole path in life. Their opinions were that having dyslexia was a death sentence for having a real job or being a productive member of society. Since that day I have done everything in my power not to believe that opinion of me because I don’t want those people to define my life. Ever.
I try not to think about what people have said about my life and what I would end up like, since most of them have been really, really off base. And the only way to show what I mean is to tell you about me. So the next post I will be writing will be my story. Be excited!
Also if there is anything you would like me to talk about please feel free to comment and ask me to write a piece about that topic.
Tool #3- I wish that this was a perfect world where labels and stigmas don’t exist, but we don’t live there. My honest opinion about people, who label you, is to not be friends, or hang out with them. Most people are a little scared about a person that have a challenge they don’t understand, and my response to that it talk about dyslexia- the good things about it and the challenging parts of it. Help people to understand what is going on in your brain and that you are just like them. Only your brain is different. I know it is hard, but people need to hear about what it is like to be us. We are a part of society and we have a lot of good to offer to this world. Never forget that.
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